You And Me
by Gerik's Angel
Summary: Jim watches the clock, counts the days on the calendar, keeping track of the time until his day of destruction arrives. He knows he should tell Pam the truth, yet he struggles as the days pass quicker and quicker.
1. Default

**You and Me**

by Gerik's Angel

**Disclaimer: **I do not own The Office, or it's characters.

**A/N** : I'm not quite happy with this yet, but I dont know how to further improve it, though I have been trying to for the last few days. This contains quite a few chapters, though the story will remain quite short. Obviously, this is based on the song You and Me by Lifehouse. Enjoy, and please R&R

Chapter 1

_**What day is it? And in what month?**_

Jim Halpert strummed a pencil on his desk. Michael had just handed out the four month late Dunder Mifflin calendar, of which he was now flipping through as he counted days. At the tenth of each month, he'd stop his strumming to circle the number with that pencil, then start again. Two months. Just two months away...

He looked up at the clock.

_**This clock never seemed so alive...**_

Though he had tried to ignore it, he had heard Pam announce to Kelly and Phillis that the wedding was to be held at noon. Two months, three hours, and eight minutes.

His heart twisted. How many restless nights had he gone through since that dreaded booze cruise? How many times had his logical side broken down in those wee hours of the night to agree with everything else in him to confess. Confess those unspoken words. Confess before two months, three hours and seven minutes were up.

Jim rubbed his dry eyes. How much more of this could he take? He was sleeping less than he did in his college years, which was saying something.

_**I cant keep up...**_

Yet though he knew he had to get away, far away, he felt like his place was right here. A few feet from Pam. Just in case he gathered that courage he so desperately needed to make that confession.

His gaze wandered now from the clock, over to Pam, who was on the phone. She spoke like it was a business call, but Jim knew it wasn't by the way she kept nervously side glancing at Michael. It was most likely her mother again, calling to see if Pam had changed her mind on such meaningless details of the wedding reception. Lavender or lilic tablecloths? Should the napkins match the table cloth, or be lighter? Perhaps darker? Jim waited for her to say it.

"Darker, I suppose." Pam spoke, biting her bottom lip.

Jim nodded. It would have been his choice too, had he cared about such things.

With every word she spoke, confirming or denying all sorts of topics with her mother about that special day, Jim realized just how much time he had lost. From his hesitation and procrastination, this wedding was getting more and more permenant. It was going to happen. Pam was going to marry another man. A man that wasn't him. A man that didn't deserve her.

A man that didn't care enough about her or any of her interests. And this man would claim her his in two months, three hours and six minutes.

_**And I cant back down...**_

Time was being wasted. Time was slipping away. Yet Jim's legs were leadened. The facts shouted in his mind, yet he was helpless to do anything to change them.

_**I've been losing...so much time!**_

"I've been a coward. Now I'm going to lose her..." Jim whispered, then looked over in shock at his aching fingers to see the pencil he had been strumming was now shattered in two pieces.

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	2. A party

Chapter 2

'_**Cause it's you and me...**_

"So, we're throwing a party. You're the first to be invited, seeing how close your desk is to mine. See how privileged you are?" Pam asked with a teasing smile, her eyes glowing.

" And who's all invited for this party?" Jim replied with an interested look, his fingers supporting his jawline.

"Everyone. I thought it went off nicely at your house. This time it's at mine."

"Michael coming?" Jim asked with raised eyebrows.

She cringed, wrinkling her nose. "Only if he must, if he somehow finds out." She threw a look over at Dwight. "Which means probably."

_**...And all of the people**_

Jim looked up at her in curiosity then, it only now hitting him. "And what is the cause of this party, Beesley?" He asked.

She shrugged. "I need a break from all this stress. Though it's the stress of this wedding that makes up my life. Without it, I dare say that I'd have quite the boring life right now! And therefore..."

_**With nothing to do...**_

"Ah...I see. Good luck then. And if Michael does come, don't set up a karaoke machine."

"Will remember!" She assured with a laugh that forced Jim to smile.

Yet just then the phone rang at the reception desk. "Shoot." Pam said in annoyance, and ran over before Michael or Dwight had a chance to criticize her.

"Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam speaking." She said in monotone, then sighed, rolling her eyes. "Mom, I really have to work right now! If my boss found out...or even his little elf..."

Meanwhile, Jim glanced up at the clock. One month, thirty days, four hours and nineteen minutes to go. He put two fingers to his neck and felt his pulse go wild. Still no courage mustered up. But that party...

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He had planned to tell her that night. To do anything to make it easier to slip out. He tried being too tired to be embarrassed, yet at just the thought of Pam having a party woke him up considerably. Then he thought a few drinks would lubricate those words that were stuck in his throat. The first part happened, regrettably not the second.

Checking his watch, he looked not to continue the countdown, but for the reference of what Pam Beesley was doing at this moment. Her party had started an hour ago. It was said that it would begin with food, which was probably what was still happening. And while she and her fellow office workers were living it up for the night, Jim sat in this empty, musty smelling bar with a bartender that looked ready to fall off his feet from weariness. Lonely...alone...no courage.

Nothing.

Nada.

Strange, how a hole, an emptiness in the heart can weigh so heavily.

"Bottoms up." He said with a grimace, realizing that such a feeling of heavy emptiness would stay with him if he didn't stop it now.

_**And nothing to lose...**_

Putting down his glass, he picked up his coat and headed out the door.

XX...Meanwhile...XX

Pam walked back and forth, wringing her hands and chewing her bottom lip in despair.

Roy came up to her from behind, putting his hands on her shoulders.

"Come on, Pam! You're dragging the mood of the party down. What's wrong?"

She looked away from his prying eyes. How could she tell him? And tell him what? How disappointed she was? How her heart refused to lift from the floor? How Jim Halpert hadn't appeared and was the cause of these feelings?

Why hadn't he come?

It was the only reason why she had agreed with Roy to throw the party. And now he wasn't here...

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Jim tried to focus. Dwight had caught him off guard twice now, actually falling for his lame teases.

But today...today there was something about Pam that he couldn't help but feel absent minded off all the world that didn't surround her. When she sighed, turning her chair so she wasn't facing him, he understood what was different. She was clearly upset and disturbed, not her normal happy-go-lucky self that he so often knew her as.

The party of the night before...the one he didn't show up for...could that have moved her so much? Couldn't be, as he convinced himself. No, it was probably something about her wedding dress, or the flower arrangements again. Jim had always been eager to be the first to help Pam, yet anything to do with the wedding was one thing he refused to be apart of. Surely she must understand.

Yet even though he was upset with her for always playing it safe, for marrying a man that clearly didn't deserve her, for making all these plans in his ear shot, he couldn't help but feel for her. Today was the first that he didn't stare at the clock or the calander. No, today he could only stare at her, trying to sort out this thoughts, imagining how she'd react if he ever dared to go out of his own comfort zone to tell her all his thoughs of late.

Her phone rang, forcing her to turn back around.

He noticed her eyes were now rimmed with red.

**_And I don't know why, I cant take my eyes off of you..._**


	3. Roof Tops

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! **

Chapter 3

_**All of the things, I want to say...**_

One month, twenty nine days, one hour and forty-two minutes. It was enough time that had been wasted. Today was the day. The day to spill it all out. He was on his fifteen minute break, Pam's too. He watched as she made her way to the lunch room, though she wouldn't be eating yet.

He quickly stood up and swiftly followed her, hoping Dwight was to busy on the phone to notice.

"Hey." He said, now walking slow with his hands in his pockets. Pam offered him a smile over her shoulder as she walked up to the vending machine.

"I uh...I wanted to talk to you." He said, swearing a sweat was already starting upon his brow.

Pam put in a few coins in and pushed the numbers to make a pack of cheese crackers fall. She picked them up then turned to him. "Yes Jim?"

Oh, did she have to look at him in the eyes, seeming so innocent?

"I...I...um..."He laughed, rolling his eyes and running a hand through his hair. "I...don't know...I kind of forgot. It must have just been something stupid anyway."

_**Just aren't coming out right...**_

"Oh...alright."

Jim started to walk away when she called him back.

"Wait! I got something to give you."

With a perked eyebrow in curiosity, he turned back around. "And what would that be, Beesley?"

She stuck her hand in her pocket, then checked it to make sure it was the right one before handing it over.

"A...save the date card?" Jim asked, nearly choking on the words. His face looked alarmed, so he quickly changed it to mildly surprised. It was the best he could do.

"Yeah. Why do you looked so shocked? You knew you were getting invited, didnt you?"

He looked away bashfully before venturing to say, "Are you inviting everyone in the office?"

"I don't know. But I guess if you invite a few...you have to invite them all, right?"

"It's your wedding. You chose who you want. Besides, do you _really_ want people like Dwight and Michael there?"

"No! That's the one thing that can make this worse!" She laughed, then it was her turn to look stunned, as if she couldn't believe she had said such.

"I...I mean..."

Jim nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean." In all reality, he hadn't a clue, thinking the two were quite happy. But he had gotten so used to saying it, to be the one she gathered her courage from, so he said it now. She was probably just reflecting upon all the stress anyway.

"I know you do. But anyway," She said, her voice becoming cheerful, a forced smile on, "you've been known to play a mean game of basketball with Roy and an occasional word or two with him, so who's side of the church do you want to be seated on? You'll have to have a place in front row."

"Dont...don't family members and parents usually get the front row?" He asked, tilting his head as he quickly moved to the vending machine and pushed a button to send down a candy bar that he had randomly chosen for an excuse to not face her.

"Oh...well yes, I suppose so. Second row then! Which side?"

He fidgited with tearing open the one end of the candy bar wrapper as he chewed the inside of his bottom lip, wondering how long he could make this excuse last.

It was the first time to his belief that he was actually grateful to see Michael come towards him.

"Any messages, fax, or notes for me Pam - u- la?" He asked, stressing the syllables and drumming his palms on the counter. He had that smile on again. That smile that told them just how bored he was, begging Pam to let him do anything. It was a dangerous smile for Jim. Who knew what their boss would find for entertainment in such a situation.

"I'm...on break. But when I left there was none." She answered, apparently disappointed that her conversation had been broken off.

But with that, Michael's face actually fell, his normal careless comedy not showing. Looking distressed, he turned and walked out, supposively to go bug other employees. Yet neither could miss the obvious wink wink that Michael gave Jim before closing the door tight.

"Well?" Pam asked, looking over at Jim again as she popped a bit of cracker in to her mouth with a crunch, her smile back.

"Uh...what was the question again?" He feigned forgetfulness. Of course he knew. But any extra time to come up with something...oh, anything to say, would be a Godsend.

"Who's side do you want to be on?"

He glanced down at the Save the Date card in his hand, his palms becoming sweaty. "Erm...I uh...I just..."

_**I'm tripping on words...**_

He let out a nervous laugh, shaking his head in disbelief of what was coming from his mouth. Why couldn't he just say it?

Pam was dying to encourage him, to flash a smile to help ease the words, but as much as she hated to admit it, she was afraid. Afraid that the words he struggled with were the words she was thinking that were tangled upon his lips.

Just then, Michael peered his head in. "Break time's over, kiddos. Enough smoochin' for now." He said with glowing eyes before disappearing again after smiling and offering a nod.

Jim ducked his head quickly as his cheeks reddened considerably. "I...got to get back." He said, then quickly hurried to his desk. He soon heard Pam make her way out slowly. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched her turn towards his desk. Quickly, he whipped out his cell phone and held it under the desk, dialing his office number. It worked - his desk phone let out a shrill ring. Picking it up, he acted like he was talking to a client, then sadly watched Pam change her direction to her own desk.

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Jim couldn't get himself to go home yet. His room mate was out with his latest girlfriend, and going to an empty, dark house just wasn't in him. Therefore, he grabbed his leather bag and headed to the roof of the work building. But what he saw there surprised him. Pam half sat on one of the walls, looking out at the landscape with tears in her sad eyes.

Now feeling awkward, he decided to turn around and let her to her own privacy when she called out.

"Jim?"

He was caught. Turning back around with a sheepish smile, he replied with a simple, "Hey Beesley. Didn't expect you to be here."

She bowed her head and sniffled, letting out a soft, embarrassed laugh and wiped her eyes dry. "Sorry..."

"You okay?" He asked, slowly advancing as he dropped his bag down by one of the two chairs on the roof.

"Yeah. It's just...stupid, I guess." Shrugging, she added, "I don't have anything better to do right now. And up here...it seems almost peaceful."

He nodded. "Once you get past the sounds of the highway and the sounds of a party from next door."

She grinned. "It's better than at home right now at least. It's a sport's night tonight. Football, Basketball, hockey...I cant remember which, and don't care to really. And hey - no phones here, right?"

"That's for sure." He agreed, and sat down, deciding not to get to close.

He slipped his ipod out of his pocket, turning it on. Pam squealed.

"Oh, do you have any new songs?" She asked, hoping down and rushing over, eager for a distraction from her sorrowful thoughts.

"Actually, I haven't listened to it for a while. I don't really know what's on it."

"Can I listen?"

He handed her an earphone, and she put it in, taking over the ipod itself. Jim looked away as he couldnt help put grin - his roommate Mark always declared that it was true love both ways if you could bring yourself to share earphones - trusting the other person didn't have anything disgusting growing in their ears. But of course, this had to be an exception.

"Oh, I love this song!" Pam finally exclaimed after skipping a dozen or so songs and dubbing him a dork for a few of them.

"Uh huh." Jim simply said. Katy had put this song on his ipod when they had first started dating, but he wouldn't tell Pam that.

With a smile, she started rocking back and forth, looking content under the blanket of stars, blurred from the city lights.

_**You got my head spinning...**_

She looked up at Jim in a dazed look, then slowly laid her head on his shoulder. His eyes opened wide - what was she doing?

His heart pounded, unsure what role he was supposed to play in this type of situation. And then suddenly he heard her gasp. The earphone was quickly ripped from her ear, that and the ipod being forced in to Jim's hands.

"I should go." Was all she offered in explanation, springing up and started running down the steps.

_**I don't know where to go from here...**_

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	4. Empty Desks and Stormy Skies

**A/N: Alright, I'm not too thrilled about this scene because I think it could have come out better, but mainly, it's just to bridge the gap between last scene and next, which is why you don't see any lyrics here. I'm saving those for next scene as well. ;)**

Where had the time gone? Jim glanced over at Pam's desk, then looked away. Had he already forgotten that he wouldn't find her there? She was absent today, and as Michael reported, she might be gone tomorrow as well. And of course, why shouldn't she be? Her wedding was two days away.

Today she was busy with last minute fittings of her dress.

What...had...he...done?

He had let her go. He had his chances in the last month and a half. Oh yes, plenty of chances. Late nights at the offices when no one else was around, out to quick lunches when she forgot to pack a lunch and couldn't bare a sandwhich from the vending machines, the elevator rides, walks to their separate cars...yes, plenty of times. But every time he tried to express just everything he really felt, the words died on his lips.

No, they didn't even get that far. They were firmly stuck in his chest, refusing to come out.

But none of that mattered now. It was too late anyway. Two days until the wedding. And he was leaving for Australia tonight. Really, he wasn't supposed to be here either. Like Pam, he had called off in advance. Yet being at home in that empty place...he couldn't stand it. He hated everything about that trip. He hated that he'd be leaving his house with Mark in charge to ruin it. He hated having to fly for over thirteen hours. He hated that he'd have to lug his suitcases everywhere, from house to car to plan to hotel and back again. He hated that he's have to change his money in to Australian money. He hated leaving his desk for Dwight to do whatever he pleased with it. He'd have to replace it when he returned, he knew that already.

But most of all, he hated the cold facts - the reason why he was leaving. He wasn't taking a trip. Yes, he had told the truth when he said to everyone he had to get away. But not the reason why.

Taking a look over at the reception desk to see another woman in her place made him shudder.

Pam...yeah, that was why he was leaving. Not because of the weather changes after he had finally gotten used to it being cold. Not because work was gaining on him. Not because stress was taking over. No, wait, the last one was quite true. Stress...from her. From the bride to be. Roy's bride to be.

And remembering that, he was nearly ready to run at that moment.

His chance was gone. He had missed it. Completely had to let whatever was to come...to be. And now he couldn't complain. He couldn't say what kind of mistake she had made. He couldn't say anything negative - because he hadn't even tried to stop her. He knew what would happen, yet he let his chances slip through his fingers. And now it was two days, one hour, and too little of minutes to do a thing about it.

And he'd have to live with that - forever. For all those lonely nights, all those silent work days...every time he wanted things back to the way they were - when the two had been close - it would be his fault.

Just then, lightening streaked through the darkened afternoon sky. Dwight, with his pathetic smile on, turned to him and said, "It's supposed to be raining for the next couple of days. Worse than this. Flood watches and all. Bad omen for weddings, you know."

Jim sunk lower in to his chair.

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	5. Unveiled

**A/N: This was a totally unplanned scene. I started to write what I meant to, and this came out instead, so I hope you like it. **

"Jim, get down here!" Jim heard his roommate yell out.

"I'm busy!" He called back, aggravated enough from the grief his heart was giving him.

"Too busy for me?" This time, instead of Mark's voice, it was a woman's that filled his ears. A particular woman...

"Pam?" Jim asked in surprise, turning around quickly.

She grinned. "Hey. Thought you might want some one to accompany you to the airport."

"Aren't you pretty busy with your plans right now?" He inwardly cringed. Why couldn't he just learn to say thank you and be grateful from offers like that? Perhaps because it was killing him to see her there, standing in the doorway with a sweet smile that tugged at the corners of her lips. Her eyes were mischievous, as always - for such a good girl next store type of person, she sure was always ready enough to pull some prank or another. But soon that wouldn't matter. What were pranks to him now? He didn't even know how he'd be able to look at her after he came back from Australia.

"Sure are packing a lot. Just how long did you say you were leaving for? A few years?" She teased, looking at his three already packed suitcases and another filling up on his bed.

He shook his head lightly with a side grin. How could he tell her that just that had crossed his mind more than once already? Except, perhaps a few years could expand in to forever? It didn't have to be Australia...just not Scranton, PA.

"When's your plane?" She asked, feeling like the conversation was quickly sliding in to a one person type.

He looked at his watch. "Hour and a half. Got to get there in a few minutes."

She quirked an eyebrow. "You're not even finished packing yet!"

"I'm working on it!"

Pam shook her head. She was just about to add something witty to his racing around and fretting when Mark yelled up again. "Phone, Jim! Mommy's calling to wish her boy a good trip!"

Jim's cheeks were bright red when he looked back at Pam. "I'll be... right back." He said, biting the inner part of his cheek.

"Of course. Mommy-son relationships are very important after all." She said, suppressing a giggle.

He tried to give her the evil glare, then after failing, gave up and started to run down stairs.

Pam sighed, walking around the room. She hadn't been here since right before last Christmas, yet it seemed so much longer. This time she had to let out a laugh when she remembered Jim and Michael singing Islands In The Stream. Jim had taken pity on his boss, which was more than she could do. She didn't have that much courage!

Glancing over at his bed, she decided that she would help him. After all, a time cautious person would have been at the airport long ago. But just as she started to put a pair of jeans in it, she stopped, something shiny catching her glance.

Curious and knowing that Jim wouldn't mind, she pulled it out slowly. After all, she was Pam. Jim never seriously cared about anything she did. Thinking more on that, she wondered if that was such a good thing.

And then she saw what she was now holding in her hands. A framed picture of the two of them. It had been taken years ago at an office outing to some park or something. The two were in front of a glistening lake, Jim's arm around her with a goofy smile, her tongue stuck out, nose wrinkled. She didn't even remember the picture until now.

And then it really hit her - why take her picture to Australia? More curious than ever, she started to carefully look through the suitcase. Perhaps there were more pictures of people in the office. Who knew? He could be weird like that. But there was none. Instead, she found an envelope...with her name on it. Tilting her head to the side, she slowly started to opening it with great caution, and then stopped. Maybe she shouldn't look. For deep down, didn't she already know what was deep within him? Had she not seen the words written in his eyes for so long?

But she had to know, know for sure. She couldn't keep wondering. Thinking that maybe her thoughts were just a bride's cold feet.

She ripped open the letter in urgency now, knowing that Jim wouldn't stay gone for long.

It was a letter, dated Decemeber twenty third - the day of the Christmas party.

_Pam, _

_Guess this is as good a time as any to tell you. I mean, I'm not really sure when the 'right' time for this stuff is. I never did it before. _

_Yeah, I know. I'm a total coward - taking the easy way out by writing it. But you have no idea how much I've tried to tell you and it just not happening. I guess I can be the funny guy when it comes to anything - but this. This...this is just nerve wracking. _

_But don't get angry at me. This letter, I know, has the potential to ruin our great, quaint little office friendship/prank team that we have right now. _

_What I'm trying to write here is...that I really like you. I do. I have, for a long time. _

_God, even writing I cant do this right. Cant say it. _

_So I'll just do this really quick and then it will be all over and out. Okay, here's goes:_

_I love you_

_-Jim_

The letter fell to the floor in her frozen hands. With mouth ajar, she stood, in shock. Why in shock, she had to wonder? She knew, didn't she? Wasn't this why they had shied away from each other since that Booze Cruise? Because they both knew but refused to see it?

"Sorry, Pam, my mom can be-" Jim's next words died upon his lips. It took a few moments until Pam could turn her head and look at his over her shoulder, jaw still quite ajar.

He was standing in the doorway, his shoulder's slumped forward, a frightened and defeated look written clearly on his face. Neither knew what to say, so she quickly shoved all the things on the bed back in to his suitcase, including the picture and letter.

"You have to get to the airport or you'll miss your plane." She said in an emotionless voice, zipping up the case.

"Pam..." he said in heartbreak and shock.

She shook her head. "You don't have time to talk - you got to get going." And with that, she grabbed the handle and started to bring it down the stairs and in to her car.

Slowly, Jim started to recover. Grabbing his other suitcases, he followed her out.

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	6. A busy airport

Jim quickly got out of the car, hurrying to the trunk. He wanted to be any where but here. With her. Knowing the knowledge of his feelings were floating around behind those blank eyes of hers.

Yet he kept dropping one of his three suitcases, cursing himself for packing so much. He watched as Pam stepped out of the car and walked back, taking one of the suitcases and walking towards the airport. He followed her, but stayed a few paces back to keep distance, as if afraid of what might happen if he got too close.

_Cause it's you and me..._

"What plane number are you?" She asked.

"Four eighty-one." He replied, trying to get the ticket out of his shirt pocket without putting down the suitcase in the high traffic hallways.

_And all of the people_

Sighing, she came up to him and got the ticket out for him.

After that, they migrated towards the check in counters to get his suitcases boarded on the plane. The lines were terribly long, and he told her that she could go if she wanted, but she didn't answer, just stayed put. He wondered if she had heard him, but then realized he didn't care. It didn't matter anymore anyway, right?

Jim looked at the clock on the wall. They had been standing in line for twenty minutes. He tapped his foot in anxiousness, needing to move something. He stared at Pam as she pushed the cuticles of her nails downward, thoroughly bored, yet remaining here.

_With nothing to do..._

"You know, it might be a while until we get up there. I'm sure you got a lot of...wedding things...to finish up, so if you want to go...you don't have to stay here. I can handle it."

This time he knew she'd heard him, for she looked up with a quirked eyebrow.

What was that look for? Did she think that he couldn't handle it and would make a mess of the suitcases like he did before? Because she still held the ticket in her hand, though he could have taken it by now? Or perhaps it was because he had choked on the word 'wedding'. Either way, she didn't go. Just stared at her nails again, painted a light pink.

In desperate distraction, Jim thought back. Had he ever seen Pam with nail polish on? He couldn't remember, which he thought strange. He thought he remembered everything when it came to her. Was he slipping already? Forgetting the little things so soon?

"Pam, you have nothing to prove by standing here with me." He said, not really knowing why.

Again, she looked up at him with silent interest, then shrugged a shoulder, picking up the suitcase and sliding it forward a bit more as they got one foot further in line.

_With nothing to prove..._

What had he meant by that, anyway? What would she try to prove? Perhaps that she was able to handle this new information? That it wasn't affecting her? That she could shrug it off and be like they always were? As if what he had written could be pushed to the side. How easy it must be for her to think so! She wasn't dealing with the painful unrequited love that stood right before her.

Was she trying to prove anything?

Pam could be quiet, shy, and secretive when it came to personal things, but she was also terribly head strong and liked to prove that she wasn't weak in any situation. Was this simular? Or perhaps he was looking too far in to things?

Finally it was their turn at the counter. He dealt with everything, then watched as his three suitcases rode down the conveyor belt.

Pam led the way out of the business of the line, then came to a stop.

"Well Jim Halpert, you're waiting room is over there, so I guess this is goodbye." She said with a small grin.

"Yeah..."

_And it's you and me... _

She put out her hand, and he meekly shook it with as big of a smile as he could muster. It wasn't much.

Biting her lip, she nodded a goodbye and walked away towards the front entrance. He watched her like a man under hypnotizism as he wondered if he'd ever see her again. If he'd ever go back to her little town of Scranton. After this afternoon, New York looked especially good. On his way here, he tried to remember how long ago Jan had offered him that job in New York that he had kept quiet about.

Standing in a sea of people that pushed against him,

_And all of the people, _

he saw her walk out the doors, flipping her hair back over her shoulder.

_And I don't know why, I cant take my eyes off of you..._

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**A/N: There will be either one or two more chapters left, depending if I decide to write my original ending or do the additional one to make a full closure. **


	7. And a wedding ceremony

Why was he here, Jim had to wonder as he straightened his tight tie. He knew it wasn't the tie that made him feel like he was suffocating, but he desperately tried to believe that it was.

Standing in a hallway of the church, he fidgeted, trying to come up with an answer.

_Why was he here? _

Of course, he tried to say the excuses: his plane had been delayed, thanks to the storms. Apparently, they got worse ain the west. He would be delaying his trip for a few days. So why not do this? It wasn't like he had a very active life lately.

Or perhaps it was because seeing a drunk Michael stumble through a toast that he was bound to give was irresistable.

Or to see if Dwight would show up. And if he did, would Angela arrive with him? Sit with him? Would Pam's theory of the two of them be finally proven by the push of a wedding?

Maybe it was to see if Kelly could stay quiet long enough for the ceremony to go through. To see how fake her tears were. Even better, to see Ryan's face as she started to whisper little obvious hints about their future.

But in the end, he knew none of these were the reason why he stood here, pathetically holding his invitation in his hand. He had wanted to see her.

Yes, if he really wanted to admit it, he'd go in to thinking about just that aspect. How beautiful she would look in her gown. To see her curls loose and falling down her shoulders. To see her actually wear make up. How would that look on her? He feared it would ruin the essence that made her up.

_There's something about you now..._

Even those things weren't the bottom reason. No, it was because he had to see. Had to witness it in his own eyes, because if he didn't, he'd never be able to believe it himself. He'd still lie in the middle of the night and try to pretend that this hadn't happened. That he still had time. That the wedding, the end of his life as he knew it, was still months away.

But if he came here, if he saw it, the image would burn in his mind forever. It would be the first thing he saw when he woke, what he saw every time he looked over at her desk and saw a new ring upon her finger. Last thing he'd see at night. He'd always know. No more pretending. He'd have to live with the torture.

Unsure of what to do, he stared down at the invitation in his hand, turning it over and over. Pam had given him a Save the Date card months ago when she had completely forgotten the date of his flight. And then she sent him an invitation. Perhaps out of courtesy? Maybe just in case? Either way, it came in handy now. He quickly put it away then. After all, he wasn't planning to come here. What would he say if someone asked him why he had kept it?

_I cant quite figure it out..._

"Sir, the ceremony is about to begin. Would you mind taking a seat? Oh, and make sure you sign the guest book." A woman told him. He nodded, walking towards the door. He glanced at the guest book, filled with many people's good wishes. He picked up the pen, but then put it back down again, realizing that he couldn't go that far. There was still a line that he just couldn't cross.

Taking out his invitation, he saw that Pam had made good of her conversation all that time ago - she had saved him a seat in the second row on her side. Unfortunately, she sat him next to Michael, in front of Kelly, and behind her mother. What torture would this bring? At least he had an aisle seat. He leaned partway out of it to escape Michael's inching closer. Suddenly he felt like he was going to be sick. Like he couldn't breath. The suffocating feeling came back again. This time it was strong enough that it made him loosen his tie so much, the knot of it was by his stomach.

He looked up at the alter. Roy had just entered, taking his place. He looked all wrong in his tux, and completely uncomfortable. A noticable sweat was upon his brow.

Darrel, who sat across from Jim on the other side, started cracking jokes with hand motions. Jim finally looked over and saw Darrel's hand above his head, his tongue sticking out as if he was being hanged. Roy grinned widely, always game for a joke.

"For real!" Roy mouthed, then let out a laugh.

Somehow, his light hearted banter infuriated Jim. As if he couldn't believe Roy would say such a thing about marrying Pam. _He'd_ never say such a thing. His words that he once imagined telling her haunted him now.

_He don't deserve you. You're too good for him, Pam. You deserve better._

But these thoughts were soon lost as his ears pricked, music starting to flow delicately out of the organ not far by. He quickly looked about. Perhaps he could still escape? But there was no such luck - best men blocked the front aisle, people next to him completely blocked that exit, and therefore left him with nothing more than the middle aisle. He saw the doors open, bride's maids begin to come out. He'd ruin the ceremony if he got up. And she was behind those doors anyway. He was stuck. He had to go through with it now.

Then the music changed. She stepped in to the aisle, walking slowly, glancing about. He didn't look. Didn't want to look. Didn't want to see. But his eyes obviously had other plans. He _had_ to see now.

_Everything she does is beautiful..._

And she looked stunning. Almost unrecognizable. His mind started to drift in to another demention, where she could have been walking down that aisle to him. Seeing only him. Staring at him. But he pulled himself out, yet what he saw was simular to his daydream. She really was staring at him. In shock, yes, but still staring, momentarily distracted.

He quickly looked away. After all, how could he let her see the torture in his eyes? She passed by, her veil lightly scrapping his cheek for a moment. She looked back at him, now her turn to do the silent mouthings.

'_What are you doing here?' _She asked him.

He gave her a half shrug and an apologetic smile. Again he asked himself what she did - she knew that he loved her. He being here could only tint her special day, now that she knew he didn't support her decision. He never should have came.

She was standing next to Roy, holding his hands. The music ceased. But when Jim looked up, he saw that she wasn't staring in the eyes of her soon-to-be husband, but looking over at him. Jim. Jim Halpert, a paper worker living in no where, working for a no name company. Not Roy. Not her wonderful, family approved fiancé.

But now, for the first time since she found that note, her eyes weren't blank. They were full of sudden indecision and fright. And he could only wonder what was happening inside of that head of hers.

_Everything she does is right..._

**A/N: Well, I have more song to go, so I guess I wont end it here as I originally planned. So, one more chapter to go!**


	8. Sun,Sand and a beach far away

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews and for everyone reading!**

Jim sighed as he sank lower in to his chair, his toes getting deeper and deeper in to the hot sand as he sipped his drink with one of those little umbrellas in it.

Had he known Australia would be like this, he would have left long ago.

There was no Dwight here, no Michael.

No 'dying of boredom days'. No suits, no phone calls, no paper sales.

It was peaceful, it was calming. And after so many changes of late, peace and calm was just what he needed.

Peace, calm, and stripped from everything. Well, not quite everything. Here, sitting on the beach, he had everything he ever wanted.

The sun, the sand, the beach, and one other that made his day. Looking over, he saw Pam with a lazy grin, her eyes closed lightly against the sun that graced her.

With a smirk, he noticed her cheeks were a light pink, starting to match the color of her bathing suit.

"Hey Pam?" He said, not really having anything to say, just wanting to see her eyes open, her voice blending with the sound of the waves.

"Shh..." She responded softly, then reached out for his hand, entwining their fingers together. "I love this song." She added then. He pushed the button to make his ipod go louder.

'_Cause it's you and me, and all of the people_

_with nothing to do, nothing to prove_

_and it's you and me, and all of the people_

_and I don't know why I cant keep my eyes off of you.'_

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--_Fin_


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